Our season of pregnancy to parenthood was full, so slowing down to capture it all just didn’t happen…. but I am not letting that get in the way of capturing the memories… even just delayed!
The blessing…. privilege…..dream of pregnancy has been with me for as along as I can remember. As adulthood arrived and the ingredient of CF was present in our story there was a lot of question if it would even happen. So when it did I was ecstatic ….. and then about a minute later I was sick! It truly hurts my heart to say it and if Shannon girl ever reads our stories here, I am sad to have to tell her…. but I was sick as a dog throughout and maybe not the glowing momma I had thought would happen.
The lucky part was due to our circumstances – maternal age, high risk, high stress when Danny got really sick, I was seeing my docs and specialists a lot … so it was confirmed allll my ick was to be expected and despite how I was feeling or how crazy life on the outside was, Shannon was ALWAYS good! In fact one of my favorite stories was when my favorite midwife was checking me one time (her name Shannon) she said “well, this baby was made for your family…. she has no idea things are crazy or scary or stressful… she is just rolling with it all and happy as can be.” And if that is not Shannon’s personality to a T… I do not know what is!
One of the blessings looking back is that Danny came to every appointment early on in my pregnancy. We wanted to really walk together through this and so he never missed one. Well as he got sicker and then COVID, he would not be at any appointments or for the birth so I am grateful for God’s plan that gave us so much time at the start.
As things started to shift for Danny we had a lot of medical folks interactions. ER days and nights…. several ambulance pick ups at the house…. and at the time I was frustrated that our pregnancy story would include this. In fact I started to worry what this would mean for our little girl’s life. But you know what I do remember when I look back? The kind and encouraging words of complete strangers. Nurses telling me it’s all OK or EMTs promising me it will be ok. One nurse said “people are gonna tell you this is not good for your baby… but you know what? She is going to be just fine. In fact kids born under stress can actually be smarter due to increased blood flow.”Medical professionals standing over Danny’s gurney telling him to stay tough his little one is gonna need him. Shannon has been encouraging hope from the moment her presence was known to anyone whose path we crossed.
Pregnancy was also experienced inside the hospital walls for us. It was again not what was envisioned, when we started to journey of Shannon, we thought it was in a healthy season. But I think it ended up speaking to a few truths. First that Shannon was part of our family and was going to learn to roll right with it. Second, pregnancy is just hard and I felt the aches and pains of it often lugging myself to and from the hotel… trying to work and sorta rest and be present for Danny. But it also meant I would now always have a little piece of my heart within a whole new person, in this case it was in a person who was still growing and with me always… starting the bond that I will forever have this little sidekick.
This most certainly was a whirlwind and being sick did encourage me to slow down which made the reality of pregnancy very present. I did not miss many minutes…. and they reminder that God has a plan for her, for us and for our family.
Thank you so much for reading and remember to make it a great day!