Rachel Hollis is an incredible role model with many accomplishments: wife, mother, author, blogger, business owner, marathoner – just to name a few. This year I read her book and saw her documentary and become even more enthralled with the messages she seeks to share with the world through the life she chooses to live. When I have thought about the blog posts I wanted to write sharing her work, I wondered which message I would showcase, what sentiment I would echo, or what influences I would say she has had on my life. In the last 24 hours the message I want to share found me: Keep Showing Up.
Growing up my mom would often say just showing up is half the battle. Getting up, getting dressed, and getting out the door means you have done all the work you need to think about – if you are present the rest of your mission or journey will sorta find you. As a planner this can grate on my nerves. Just show up? What about timing, outfit, goals, how long to stay? I can’t just show up, I have to seek purpose and provide meaning. Although my rebuttals are valid, I have sorta skipped over the point: often we risk missing out on life because we talk ourselves out of going, before we have even attempted to leave. If you can have a mindset of get up and go – you might be surprised at how much of life you end of living, just by removing the decision to give up. As it turns out, that is sorta Rachel’s whole message.
Her book “Girl Wash Your Face” and her events (or the documentary that recently followed one of her conferences) she spends time delving into the excuses, lies, and boundaries we readily accept, which are standing in our way of greatness. What makes her so powerful is greatness doesn’t have to be a New York Times Best Seller, it can also be someone who chooses to drink the required water needed for their health. Her passion and the principles of “just show up” remain the same, no matter the goal. Then when you look at what fuels that power is her ability to relate. So much of Rachel’s life has been wrought with pain and struggle we don’t just roll our eyes at her preaching, thinking she has succeeded so of course she can say “just do it” ….. we stop and listen because she has made it from a place that is full of acceptable reasons to give up. And when we wonder how she fought against those very real, very raw, very life altering challenges we see it all began with the decision to just show up.
This fall has brought with it a beautiful array of choices for Danny and I . We are blessed with a few different opportunities – but all with pretty life altering consequences. And the truth? We want to do them all. At first we were paralyzed by the blinding light of choice. All of our previous life decisions were made out of force – move back home with family, take jobs, leave jobs, don’t have a family….. get a double lung transplant – were really the default. We would do our best to control the process, but in the end the decisions were ultimately made for us. Now? We get to make them ourselves and in being honest it is overwhelming. It sounds so ungrateful, but it has been oddly confusing and caused a lot of anxiety and fear around the fear of making the wrong choices, or worse no choice at all. We weren’t even able to show up to the options, we were just stuck.
How to move forward? Well we got a long way to go – but I realized I need to look at all the choices for me through two lenses: What choices, that if I did not even try for them – success or not – would be impossible to live without? And, what thing is it the God wants me to do for his glory? These narrowed my focus pretty quick and then it was just about showing up to those specific choices everyday. Now Danny has his own set of decisions and then we have decisions to make together…. but those require more time, as no answer is truly clear right now. Instead of worry, that too is its own answer – I know the ares to show up in and the rest I just need to let go to both God and time.
This space allowed me to clear my mind, find focus, and start showing up. I felt better – Rachel and my mom were right – I feel like I belong in my life. But the truth is nothing has changed significantly yet, rather I just feel so good because I have removed the option of talking myself out of life. This also gave me the space to remember. A big part of our deer in the headlights moment is decisions relating to Danny’s career. He has found success and potential growth much faster than anticipated and now we are going to actually look to his career as the lead instead of worrying about me keeping my job at all costs. Ya’ll just two years ago I was in the midst of working two jobs to try and keep our heads above water……. now we don’t just have 2 incomes, we might even have the flexibility of Danny’s to achieve completely new dreams. In 2016 I was losing my marbles regularly and just afraid to stop peddling in case everything would come crashing down on my head. No wonder I am a little confused by the sudden opportunity for choice! Then I had to show up….. so now this showing up is when it really counts, this is what we have worked toward …. this is what we had hoped and dreamed of. Be scared but don’t stop showing up!
If you are in a season of having to show up because the hamster wheel is spinning and you have to keep up….. if your in a season that you have some choices but that seem paralyzing….. if your in a season that things are going along fine, but you feel this gnawing for a little more….. I would really encourage you to check out Rachel Hollis. She has a great blog, awesome podcasts, a phenomenal book, but I think one of my absolute favorite things she has? The last 90 days program. Starting on October 1 she will give you the opportunity to end 2018 in a huge way. Last year I participated and I can’t deny the profound influence the knowledge I gained had on the following year. And if you are in the thick of life right now and think I don’t need another thing to do or feel bad about or fall down trying to do….. I would look at this as just a relaxed opportunity for a little wisdom and great pep talks when your time allows. It is no pressure, but I promise you will be provided AWESOME food for thought.
I would of course also encourage you to get coffee with my mom…. but honestly? She is a little harder to find this days as they just moved back into their house after the fire and have 723 boxes to unpack from fire restoration company!
There are so many moments in life that just showing up seems like too simple of advice. Yet, there are times it seems like the hardest part to accomplish. All I can tell you is to really keep it as simples it sounds – just show up. If you can manage putting on pants before you get there – well then bonus points. But messy, broken, emotional – all those aren’t reasons to feel you can’t show up….. in fact they are the reasons you should. They are the reasons you are you – which is the whole point ….. just show up as you.
Thank you so much for reading and remember to make it a great day!