Have A Little Faith in We

13 Years and the fun still hasn’t run out….

Today we celebrate 13 Years of dating and if you have been around here before you may recognize this phrase…. the summer of 2005 Danny and I grabbed lunch while I was home from college. We had a good time, but I didn’t think it was best to go backwards and date someone from high school. So after avoiding his calls and dodging a date by leaving him a voicemail …. he finally grabbed my attention. Once I gave into the fun – I fell pretty hard and suddenly I was the one wanting to know “what are we doing?” Danny preferred the relaxed summer vibe that had been the theme of this most perfect summer love story that he answered me with “we will just hang out until the fun runs out.” 13 Years and a few not always fun moments later …. all in all- the fun still has not run out.

This year I have thought a lot about that phrase. Probably because over the course of the last two years, during some true tests of will, he still can make me laugh and fill me with butterflies like that first summer. Somehow now though, the gift feels more precious, probably because I know the moments we had to wade through to get back to the good ones. Even still this phrase was born out of my desire to know what’s next and I suddenly realized what a theme that has been in our life.

When we were first dating I wanted to know when it was gonna be official…. when it was gonna be exclusive. Once that was figured out (and the stories of someone dodging that question, Mr. Bessette may be retold tonight over wine…. 🙄)- then it was when are we gonna exchange I love yous? From there the years trucked along (yes, we were babies when we started dating) and before we knew it the question of forever was here. When the pressure got to be too much or the conversations moved from playful and fun to serious, Danny would come back to “when the fun runs out” . It would satisfy me and get us from point A to point B … but the sentiment still remained – what’s next?

There are a million reasons I can give to why I always want to know what’s next including: I am human, I am a planner, some days the reality of living on borrowed time gets to me. And amongst the sea of reasons I think there are some pretty valid ones like, we wrestled with the when on Dan’s transplant for a long time. But the truth is I can find an excuse to do this with all aspects of my life and if I am not careful – I can lose our present time on the what’s nexts.

I saw a quote the other day that says “the life you have right now is the one you dreamed of for someday” (there is a good chance I messed that up- but you get the sentiment). There is a lot of truth in that…. and as much as I swore I would never forget the days pre-transplant where plans were canceled cause Dan was sick. After transplant when we were promised that one day he would just feel better and we could live life, I promised I would appreciate it. In the main, I like to think I have. Experiencing new things, Danny going back to work, our efforts to get involved and help others, our opportunity to share our story… I pray we have honored the gift of life and the memory of a person who made it possible. But I am also human and there are moments as time pulls us further from the days of survival that I want to know how we will make it to the next stage: our career goals, raising a family, maybe even cleaning up our debit from years of medical strife.

But I think the the answer is the same – whatever is next is “until the fun runs out” and we are going to need to celebrate that and remember how far it has gotten us. Since lifting our heads up from the fight to take a look at the present, the stark reality of how different we are has become louder. There are just parts of our life that are going to be harder and there may be things we will never “catch-up” to. But there are also realities that others won’t experience for many years after us and that has been a gift. We have learned a lot fast. So all in all we look at our lives like this: lot of good and lot of hard. Guess what? Some days it feels different – but the truth? We are just like everyone else.

This weekend we are in Indianapolis sharing our story at the Children’s Organ Transplant Association. An organization that has given us the ability to live life now and we hope to help others facing similar experiences. As we enjoy this dream of connecting with others I will be keeping in mind “until the fun runs out” and that our different isn’t all that different – it’s just the human experience. There are moments right now that I have dreamed of for years…. don’t miss them by mourning our missing pieces …. and maybe we can encourage others to do the same.

Happy 13 Years Danny … cheers to the fun never running out and I am excited to see what’s next …. but I promise to not miss the here and now.

Thanks so much for reading and remember to make it a great day!

Jackie