Have A Little Faith in We

Happy Monday friends! I hope the start of the week met you with the feeling of excitement after a nice weekend. We had an unexpectedly full week last week that most of this weekend was spent in recovery mode.

Friday I ended up working a little late  – but eventually made it home to a warm spot on the couch, a sweet little fuzzy face, a tired but grateful to have a friend husband, and a perfectly delicious glass of wine. Taking the time that evening to just let the wine wash over me, the warmth of our home engulf me, and to drift into the weekend was exactly what I needed. That night, I slept so well…. knowing you have wrapped up a week that asked a lot of you, there is no greater medicine for a deep slumber!

Even with a night of taking a breath and hiding away at home, I woke up Saturday just feeling beat. Quinlan and I stumbled out of bed, shuffling down to the kitchen with just enough energy for a quick walk, some kibble, and to fumble with the buttons on the coffee pot until we found our way back to the couch. This week felt like the first time that we had really tried to live in both worlds: the land of the living, while still doing the march of the sick. Sure we have had other weeks that were busy, or maybe with a few unexpected doctor visits, but this was the first time  since transplant that we had been trying to just live: errands, laundry, the office, the house, the dog – and the realities of Danny being sick laid the smack down. But we got back up, wrapped up the week strong.

It can be hard for me to just sit. Perhaps embarrassing to admit, I feel so much guilt if I am not doing something while lounging. But the truth of the matter is I just felt off. I was tired, a little grumpy, sore and I had to tell my mind to stop, so that I can just be still (well and work on Christmas cards……yea, that’s where we are at). A little crazy how many times I had to tell my brain to shut up…. but it worked and I felt better. Finally after being in my PJs until about 4 I got in a nice workout, the best shower, and cleaned up so I could head out to grab my Saturday coffee and do my errands. Yup – I got my downtime and then it was back to reality.

But it worked out perfectly – I felt rested, while still being able to address my calendar. And this particular weekend that included the extended family staying at my parent’s. The whole gang had gathered at noon for lunch and visiting, but I was still in hibernation mode, so I popped by during the middle of my errands. At this point it as just my parents, Lola, Sawyer, Ganmommy and the aunts left – which was sad to miss everyone – but I appreciated the time to visit as as smaller group. Oh and to sip wine…. so much wine that the rest of my errands had to be moved to Sunday and I did not make it back to my boys until midnight.

Yes I am a bizarre creature: I demanded the quiet to rest my brain, to give my body some breathing space, and to feel back in neutral ….. but once that was done, I needed the connection with people to feel alive. Laughter, memory lane strolls, hugs – these things do make my heart feel so full and I am reminded that I am better in life when I take time to connect with those God has placed in my world.

Saturday was just what I needed….but that did mean that I had to kick it into gear for Christmas the next day. Yup, you read that right – we did Christmas with my family this Sunday, January 29. You all know our December was a fog and Christmas weekend we ended up just spending it at home with our pup, so when Danny and I realized our Christmas decor was still up and we had not had Christmas with my family – we picked a Sunday and went for it. Sadly most of my siblings were busy or not local, so it was a  smaller crowd with just my parents, Ganmommy and Sawyer. But with Dany and my limited energy levels and our smaller living room – it ended up being the perfect crowd.

So we fired up the tree (well, actually just turned it on like we have ben everyday since Danny got home from the hospital – we are currently living life sans calendar), made some snacks, cranked the volume on the Christmas tunes and welcomed the family over.

We had a gift exchange, marveled at some of the decor that had made its way through the generations (our main nativity set was my Dad’s growing up and we estimate 50-60 years old), and laughed that even if this was the 6th Christmas for some of the folks in this crowd, they still enjoyed it. This moment meant so much – to have a part of my family in our home, surrounding our tree, and enjoying our hospitality – I felt the amazing blessings of what God has placed on our life and the hope for what the future will hold.

Thank you so much for reading and remember to make it a great day!

Jackie