Have A Little Faith in We

Growing up a well known line at the Heppes house was “no marathons”- in fact, I can hear the words just perfectly said by mom as I type this post. It wasn’t that my mom was against running- no, she was anti- never ending hang out sessions. You know the kind that starts out as a play date and then you beg to have a sleepover and then you plead for pancakes in the AM …. And before you know it you and your friend had found enough excuses to ask to be together all weekend!  In my mom’s defense there are 5 of us- she gave us built in friends… No need to have more kids around or to risk having one kid be a complete grump for 24 hours just for some silly sleepover!  Nope- in mom’s world friends was the treat and when said play date was over- we were done!  

This happened to have an obvious benefit for when my dad was in charge… Marathons for all!! Want to have a sleep over? Sure! Want to all go to friends’ houses for hours on end- no problem! Dad grew up in household with just one brother and friend sleep overs and adventures for days were normal! Mom on the othe hand – one of seven- yup, my Ganmommy didn’t believe in marathons either…. You have your siblings, problem solved!  All 5 of us still laugh and tease about no marathons…. 

And I bring this up as my hospital day visit is looking like it will be an unexpected marathon. Now- in some ways this is just like being a kid, I get to hang out with my best friend for the whole night… Let’s look at the bright side shall we? The underline of this really means- Dan is just not doing great enough for me to leave. 

Hospitals are just like most bususinesses – weekends are slow. So Danny is in, they have some basic meds going and we are just trying to get a baseline of where he is – weight, blood sugar, etc. We are noticing a few meds and levels that are causing big swings in Dan’s overall feel and this makes me uncomfortable to leave him. When I first got here we took two walks… We went over a few to do items, had the Bessette weekly budget discussion (wouldn’t want to miss that… Sigh) – business as usual. But within the hour Dan is down and out for the count. Good news is that some of Dan’s basic levels are at the point that we can keep playing with them and try to make him more comfortable. We still have med options we can try… These are all positives. 

Plus I have a new lesson learned…. Anyone who knows me knows I travel with STUFF!  Extra jackets… Things to do… It is rare I go anywhere with just one bag! Today I planned to bring up clothes, food, and basic hospital supplies for Danny and then be back home tonight- so one purse, two magazines and a phone charger.  Plus I figured I gave myself yesterday for the emotional rollar coaster- so today it is time to show up and be me- I wore make up, no yoga pants for this girl- jeans…. Not always my hospital wear…. It was only going to be for the day and wanted to appear as normal as possible … Oops! #caregiverfail 

Luckily- they are super comfy jeans (am i right ladies)… And I have already been working on my pep talks about going with the flow! The lessons I have been taught through my marriage have made me a better person- and so this will just be another one about learning to let go of control and ride the waves (as you read this line, listen really carefully… What’s that? It’s the sound of my dear friends and family laughing….).  

One day at a time … And today I get to have a marathon! Sorry mom! 

And as we sort of figure this all out- it’s pretty amazing we get to look at such a beautiful view of the city that is a big part of our love story…. 

Oh!! And don’t worry about Q- he is with family … Happy, healthy and spoiled I am sure! 

Thank you for reading and remember to make it a great day!

Jackie