On Tuesday we celebrated Dan’s 31 years of life and the 11th birthday of his we have spent together.
Our last year was FULL of changes, new beginnings, several endings, a little closing our eyes and jumping, a lot of hoping and praying for the best, and even meeting a few goals. The thing that stands out to me the most from this year has been the incredible partnership we have achieved.
Since the very start I have felt we were partners in crime. Finding the next adventure to take over our night on the town or as the excuse to escape for the weekend. It was with those first few adventures that I knew I was falling in love. The way Danny made me smile, the way he “stole my attention”, the intense longing I had to just be with him – a hospital night with Danny was better than a regular night anywhere else….. my heart was his and my life forever changed.
Fast forward a few years and we still were having fun and experiencing new adventures together – they just looked a little different…. instead of dancing in the rain and the night life in DC, we were getting married, learning about transplants, teaching me to cook and Dan to clean. So many times I thought “my dreams are coming true” as I made our house a home or we picked our first Christmas tree. The partnership – started to feel more like a family.
With each new year, we would find ourselves in new experiences, new successes, new challenges….no year was the same and like it or not we adjusted how we would assess, analyze, and divide to conquer each new experience and challenge that came our way. We learned to ebb and flow – we become pros at learning what the other person says versus what they really mean – and we learned the ever expanding lists of love languages: Danny = properly load the dish washer and Jackie = planning & calendar meetings. Through job changes, moving, adding a new pup – we would shift and change, but thankfully always found a rhythm that would seem to work.
This last year however we made an even more incredible transition from partners in crime, to spouse, to family – to the greatest chapter of our story so far, we truly became each other’s greatest confidants. Entering year 5 of marriage, celebrating 30th birthdays, both starting completely new chapters and some very unchattered waters – it has been a time of change. In facing all of the new experiences in our world – it would have been normal to have to do a lot of adjusting. I would have expected some tough days, some growing pains, and some long conversations about what we now needed from our partner. But something different happened this time – something incredible – we become each other’s cheerleaders, we became each other’s ear for fears and woes, each other’s hands to hold…… and when life got a little crazy and one of us was falling, not only did the other help them get back up, but we reminded them of the goals and dreams they have for life as the reason to get up. We have found ourselves securely standing on an awesome foundation built form 5 years of marriage and 10 years of love that provides what we need for a sturdy marriage – and a happy life!
Now don’t get me wrong – on two accounts. 1 – Danny has been there for me from the start. He has never forgotten his job to “make me smile” or his responsibility to love and support. Just like I hope he would say the same about me. But there is a huge difference when you are learning about your role and your partner – and when your putting your experience into practice. 2 – We are not perfect. O man are we not perfect! We both would agree that marriage is the hardest relationship there is – but the reason for that? Our relationship is the most important bond in our lives.
To my dear husband – as we officially take off into this new decade, it is humbling to see how far we have come with the trials and tribulations. With the unexpected fun and the unexpected pain we have only grown closer. From day one you have introduced to me a love unlike any in this world – and ignited in me a passion and excitement for just being alive that I will never forgot. Now you provide a strength that I was so slow to need. Being a strong personality, who likes things done my way (with a very specific type of calendar and hand soap), I was most confident in my ability and hesitant to give up control. Life and the the Lord brought that belief to a screeching halt over the past few years and when I felt inadequate and empty you have answered the call… filled the void…believed in me when I could not – and have kept our family full of faith, hope, and dreams. This life would be no where close to the same without you in it and I will forever be grateful to God for placing you in my world. And now I know the true power to overcome anything lies in our shared partnership – the Bessettes are stronger and better together….. for whatever life will hold. I love you…..happy birthday!
Thank you for reading and remember to make it a great day!