Happy Friday Everyone!
It’s Friday of a new weekend – one of those awesome feelings that is right up there with the last day of school or New Year’s Eve: your standing on the brink of a lot of fun and freedom all for the taking! But the Bessette’s can’t start another weekend without recapping the last one, right?
One week ago we were enjoying the awesome setting of a summer baseball game in DC! Friends of ours, Amanda and Mark, were so generous to invite us to a game using their family tickets. And not just any tickets mind you, but incredible seats. We were just rows away from the main attraction – it was a blast. We ate our weight in baseball snacks, sent up some cheers with a few good beverages, and enjoyed a sweet summer evening soaking up what baseball is all about – good food, great friends, and fantastic baseball!
Danny, having just gotten out of the hospital 4 short days before, we were not sure how his energy would hold up, but overall he did great. The rest of the weekend was pretty slow and quiet – but kicked off with the perfect way to spend one of our quickly vanishing summer nights!
Saturday and Sunday were as quiet as quiet could be! Having Danny home is the best way to spend a weekend after days in the hospital – but we both were a little frsustrated to not be back to our regular life right away. Saturday began with three restarts to the morning, some food, some coffee, but just not finding the energy to get going. So we decided I would go get a pedicure and relax so Danny could rest and be ready to have a full afternoon. Returning home it still looked like the day will be pretty low key and I think to myself today has really been a microcosm of our week.
That Monday we all were so thrilled to be back as we three and we took the night off to relax, and just be. It was perfect!! But come Tuesday regular life was calling….. I left for work extra early to kick off a strong few days in the office and my nights were scheduled to the max getting the most out of blog time and contract work. Danny tried to pick up where he left off returning to some work, taking care of the dog, and catching us up on house stuff. So I took off with the wind….but Dan did not. He felt exhausted, angry, frustrated – and like 21 days in the hospital had left him worse off somehow. So we are going two different directions – mix in an extremely frustrating week at work for me and Danny feeling like nothing will go right….. it’s hard. We were so excited to be back to the same routine and all of us under the same roof, yet we can’t help but feel really disjointed. Saturday I realized though, it is not just a feeling – we are disjointed.
When days like this happen it is not uncommon for us to lose our cool. We both want so badly to just be “normal”. Yea ,I know life is not perfect – there will always be frustrations, never enough time, never enough money…..but instead of being there we are both just sitting on the sidelines of life. My escape – that accompanies my beloved pedicures- is my blogging world. I check out my fav blogs that were not visited this week due to work overload, or I scroll through my IG feed and see the beautiful pictures of summer or the fun peak at fall that fills the feed. As with human nature, there is envy. Of course I want to be eating that yummy food, wearing that pretty sweater…..but the part that I so love about blog is the envy is different, its not that I want to be them….its that I want to the passion/euthasism/excitment for what life is presenting to them in my own world. How can I breathe that fervor for life into my own family?
With all the quiet time at home and getting back to the groove……I have also taken advantage of a lot of online sales. I am a sucker for that 40% off flash sale and as the UPS man graces my front porch with his presence I am instantly met with the feelings of Christmas morning – fun and excitement for what the new brown box will present to my life. Carefully considering these two very distinct and powerful emotions: longing to bring my family happy moments AND the excitement of the perfect new scarf to wear while doing it…… I was hit with the realization for what life could be….
The truth is that I can’t make Danny feel better – and although we had a blast at the game Friday night and I love being young and footloose in the city soaking up the summer, that is not going to be easy for us. But this does not mean I have to go to the other extreme and don my PJs all Saturday long – because what is the point of getting ready? Last weekend I never did my hair or make-up….the wet messy bun was a fixture of my shabby at home behind my computer look I was rocking. In some ways that worked for then as we were still in healing mode. Dan was at the hospital and I was plowing my way through house chores and work…..but this weekend I am home WITH my family. Sure I still have a lot of work to do and yes I will be running the vacuum throughout the house – but I still will have a date night, it will be with Danny, probably on our deck, but why not break out my new trendy jeans? Its still a date…. he is still the most important person that I want to look my best for anyway – right?
I am so proud of how our world has taken a turn to rely more on faith to keep us going. Often I am breathless by the power of how our ability to communicate has grown exponentially and we are such a strong team. These are the intangible, true reasons for life. However, sometimes a little surface focus is not such a bad thing. Doing my hair to feel like our life matters sounds pretty shallow…..but if our life needs to continue to center around being home and hanging on the deck – then why not dress to show up to that life.
Saturday afternoon Danny did get up and was feeling energized. We cleaned up a bit, set up our new deck furniture (thank you to my mother-in-law!!!), had an ice cream date, and then the perfect Saturday dinner date, at home. Sunday was much of the same – slow start, ran a few errands, caught a late mass and dinner on the deck – but there was a change in the air. We know that life will be shifting and new challenges are going to present themselves, but waiting to exhale under ideal circumstances is going to be a waiting game we will lose. So Danny and I challenged each other – no negativity for a week and the first person to be negative loses. We never really agreed on the prize, but as it turns out we both won. We have enjoyed a good week – even with some extra crazy (Hopkins trip, skin infection for the pup), and some serious realizations that we are going to need to slow down – yet we are still motivated to be present and enjoy it. We too can have the perfect cup of coffee, next to a fall candle, cuddled up in the perfect cozy quilt ….for our own version of perfect moments.
And what an ideal way to search for those perfect moments – throughout a holiday weekend! I hope you and yours enjoy the end of summer and go ahead wear your new look and get ready even if it is just for an at home movie date or afternoon reading at the coffee shop. Moments of perfection can come from purposeful living, being positive, and seeking them out…..soak it up people!! That is what we will be doing this weekend!!