Have A Little Faith in We

Dear Shannon,

A few Saturdays ago war broke out in the middle east. This area, the “Holy Land”, has been tormented for centuries by battles for ownership, power, and control. In fact one of your favorite pre-bedtime rituals is to watch these old Bible Stories for kids on YouTube and one of the preferred stories is about the battle for Jericho (there is a little goat named Turnip that has stolen your heart). This current outbreak of fighting has been named a war and in all of its horror is living up to the name. There are many lessons being taught through this moment in history and we are the lucky ones who are not learning about fragilness of life or evils of hate. Yet, we are watching it unfold and being called to respond.

True to the age in which we are living, the calling we believe is ours to answer is about taking a position, having an opinion, and properly acknowledging the terror being waged on innocent lives and by evil people. However, following the past few years of a global pandemic, civil unrest, war on life and child innocence, and the battle against faith and Catholicism – I am finally starting to learn that may not be the assignment. Could it be important? Possibly, even probably when we are called to speak truth. But is it the solution that is enough? Not really. So what is? Standing in faith.

I suspect as you grow and I try to steward you, my sweet and stubborn little lady, there will be breaking points for us over faith. It will feel at times I am trying to force something, because I am human and want you to experience the comfort, peace and salvation that faith is. And also being human, you will want to forge your own path, make your own way, and develop your own beliefs. So at your ripe old age of three, where I can confidently say I have learned next to nothing as a parent, it is my current belief that action is going to always be the loudest lesson and concrete examples a teacher for us both. Today in the midst of a battle being waged both around the world and between those who are watching it unfold, I have learned a few things about faith.

First, sometimes it comes down to plain old humanity. If we look at the origin of this current day battle we will find Abraham and Sarah. A couple God promised descendents to fill the world, who at a very old age found themselves barren and growing impatient. Their choice to take liberties with God’s plans and attempt to move the timeline, or come to the answer on their own, has led to quite a complicated ancestry. There are a lot of summaries of this account, not to mention the Bible itself, so I will let you learn more about the story on your own. The first part I want to highlight is one we both can understand at the core of who we are: being human. Abraham and Sarah could not see God’s plan unfolding due to the limits imposed upon them as people and the circumstances of their world: old age, no children, and what the world has taught them is truth. They could not get out of their own way, stop worrying or wondering, and worst of all could not let go of control. As humans this will wear on us long enough that if we don’t take some sort of action we think we may snap! Guess what – they took action and the snap still came.

Standing in faith is not so easy while standing on earth. We too will be called to wait on God, trust in his plans, live life knowing we can’t possibly know the outcome, and let Him work outside the constrants of this physical world. We will fight against it, we will create excuses and thus delays, and God will continue to work without our cooperation while, also offering us incredible blessings when we choose to participate.

Second to answer this calling we have to practice, train, and become familiar with answering the call of God. This comes from consistent habits, maturity in faith, and from denying ourselves. It is hard Shannon! Some of the tools that will best teach this sort of obidence are difficult: fasting, sacrificing, praying and all with patience. These are not practices we believe will find comfort in like we might from what the world offers: escaping, self first, and inflated confidence. But they are the tools that lead us to the answer. Today, October 17, our Church called us to a day of fasting and prayer for the war. When searching for how to respond, the church provided the answer and it was more than making a statement, it was a call to action. Not the most exciting, not the the action that produces an immediate answer, but the one that orients ourselves to a posture of trust and links arms as a universal church. In the call to practice, we can learn the answer: trust.

So I am sure that faith is sounding so appealing: we are called to ignore our humanity and to do that, we need to practice it with focused sacrifice. But in the journey of the lesson, don’t forget the destination. Right now you and I have created this whole world for ourselves. We have a community of friends, a refuge with family, a rhythum that has built a foundation for growth and we have the excitement of new plans. This life that was created rose from the broken ashes of our world before, of loss from the destruction of illness and addiction, and only after so much dragging of my feet, I was convinced this new life was always going to feel wrong. And yet, this little world of ours has provided the necessary space to heal, grow, and bloom – necessary as we watch and navigate the other part of our family fade.

There have been so many times Shannon I almost missed this chance, even weaponizing faith against myself (“good Catholic families only look like XYZ”)! The only way here was the little yeses to faith calls over the past few years. Dealing with the heartache of having to accept the rules, to finding the freedom in what they have provided (and no, it was not a cookie cutter answer of “good Catholic families”). And in the gift of life now, we are being offered the most amazing gift: recognizing that God’s plan is better than my own and he is awaiting with miracles, not just holding a rule book. That is what standing in faith can do – lead you to your unique destiny by God that will bring you blessings enough to fill the whole world. Just ask Abraham and Sarah!

So as you grow and consider your own faith journey don’t be so quick to assume that it looking different than you expected is call for action or that you have done something wrong. Stand in the faith, as long as it takes, and embrace it with the hard work – but remember if you don’t embrace it, mess it up even, God can work with that too. Just never stop standing in it and I know you will see miracles …. And in the moments you don’t? His mercies are new all the time, don’t miss the miracles found in trying again.

All my love,
Mommy