Have A Little Faith in We

This past week included picture day at Shannon’s school. The first feeling about picture days are: these are the moments I dreamt about. The parenting milestones that remind you of who God has given you to steward. Before I knew her I wondered what she would like look… who she would be. Then when that little lady arrived picture day became how she would grow and change: this is a day that will capture her growth for the next 16 years. It is an important day.

This year Shannon really understood it. She had two other years for practice. She has seen the pictures on my desk, in our home, on Nana and Grandad’s table of pictures, on family member’s fridges and included in Christmas cards to loved ones. She studied her first two photos and made plans for what she could wear and who would get a picture.

So much about this day tells me about us. We both love details, get overly excited over events -big or small, like to plan (and also change our minds), when it is important it means including other people, we look forward to the end result and the perfect vision that is sure to be fulfilled from this cherished experience. Then when it didn’t go 100% according to plan, we both were full of unnecessary apologies: Peas in a pod.

The day arrived it was not quite what we had been envisioning and chatting about. Shannon had a lot of emotions that led to a variety of outfit changes and a few melting moments. Once we settled on the look, I provided a variety of coaching on the need to keep the dress clean: watch the snacks, careful with drinks…. Apparently so much so, she asked to take a napkin from the car glove compartment into school with her! She had us both laughing…. But it did press my heart about how important moments can have a bit of a cloud hanging overhead when trying to make them perfect.

So in an effort to shake perfection and embrace the present- I let go of my vision for Shannon and let her wear the shoes she picked (well the second shows, the first were the ones she wore in my brother’s wedding). Asked that she do her best to stay put together, but not to worry and just packed a back up dress. We made it to school – late and with mom not even close to herself being ready for the day- but we did it: picture day. As we walked to the school we both got the giggles and it was cemented, this was an imperfectly perfect milestone day.

Picture perfect is something that our world has set as the expectation and so our brains are often seeking it. And when we can’t find it, we are led to tough emotions still trying to achieve it (fear, anxiety, failure, confused, untethered) or we want to give up completely. But listening to a podcast (saved below) on that same picture day, I learned it has never been about perfection for the human experience, it’s about perseverance.

We think it only counts if we do it wonderfully well and 100%- but it doesn’t. If we don’t get it right on the first, second, third or four hundredth try- we will still never have to completely give up and return to the starting line, pivot, yes…. But giving up, no. The only time we are truly out of the game is when we choose to give up. And if the pursuit of perfection does lead us to give up, well than we will never earn the true rewards found in perseverance.

This message sent me down memory lane with the mission of finding those things I did perfectly well: not a one. Then it sent me in a tailspin of reflection on my motherhood that has been an unbelievable experience – and guess what: messy! My marriage that is unrecognizable now and still, not a single regret and still love exists deep in my soul. What do these things all share: perseverance.

And thanks to this podcast, I was left reflecting on our Mother Mary and her life’s demand for perseverance. A journey that started with one of the craziest and messy birth stories I have ever heard. From the start her vocation was filled with “not supposed to be” moments and well, it turned out to be the plan God had for her.

My seeking of perfection for picture day was also one of the mistakes of this crazy day…. But my response to still show up when the option for perfection was gone, reminded me that actually my default is perseverance and that will take me on the journey I need … the one that God is writing, the one that doesn’t miss out by listening to my humanity.

It’s only picture day #3 and I am here and ready for more… messy and all.

Thanks so much for reading and remember to make it a great day!
Jackie

Podcast: “Perseverance not Pretty”